Resolving Inner-Conflict (3/4)
Experiencing Resistance: the key to moving forward.
Playing a win-win game with yourself.
When two parts of you are in conflict, the only way to make a choice that honors both is to understand them fully and facilitate a dialogue between them. This means helping each part to see the other’s perspective and working together to decide on a shared direction.
When you don’t resolve inner conflict, you end up disowning at least one part of yourself, leading to internal and external suffering, loneliness, and a sense of separation from yourself, others, and life. By addressing this conflict, you can see that many of your relationship issues, life struggles, and frustrations are symptoms of inner conflict, and an invitation to resolve it.
Now that we understand what resistance is and how it affects us, let's dive into how to identify and dissolve it. Addressing resistance effectively can transform your ability to reach your goals and improve your overall well-being.
How to Identify Resistance
Identifying resistance involves recognizing the internal conflicts that are holding you back. Start by asking yourself these questions:
What am I resisting? Identify the specific goal or change you're struggling with.
What parts of me are in conflict? Reflect on the different aspects of yourself that may be pulling in different directions.
What are the underlying fears or insecurities? Understand the emotions and beliefs driving your resistance.
For example, if you’re struggling to make a career change, there might be a part of you that wants to pursue a new path but another part that fears the unknown. Recognizing these conflicting parts is key to resolving the issue.
How to Dissolve Resistance
Own the Reality of Resistance: Accept that resistance exists and understand its perspective. This means acknowledging the fears and concerns of the resisting part and addressing them directly.
Identify the Needs: Determine what each part of you needs to feel secure and supported. This could involve setting realistic goals, finding additional resources, or seeking support.
Meet the Needs: Take action to address the needs identified. For instance, if a part of you fears failure, developing a solid plan and building your confidence can help.
Avoid the Doom Loop: By addressing resistance, you prevent the cycle of negative experiences and emotions. This means taking proactive steps to resolve conflicts rather than letting them escalate.
Investing Time and Energy
The time and energy required to dissolve resistance can vary. Sometimes it takes a short period to address minor conflicts, while other times, it might require a longer process of self-discovery and action. However, resolving resistance is always more effective than trying to push forward with internal conflicts unresolved.
In Summary
Identifying and dissolving resistance involves understanding internal conflicts, recognizing needs, and taking proactive steps to address them. By doing so, you clear the path to achieving your goals and creating a more fulfilling life.
